ahikeiki

Falling – wait! I come to life on the russet leather couch that dominates my living room, limbs twisting spastically to catch myself after the imaginary fall. My heart is protesting, my back wet with anxious sweat. Something about the already faded dream I just abandoned left a familiarly dull, hungry ache in my stomach. I sit up, pulling the ragged afghan I’d been sleeping under around my shoulders. I finger the tattered edges, feathered from age and aggravated by my anxious plucking. The living room is dark. Pointed corners of furniture and picture frames are softened by a faint light from the streetlamps, timidly spilling thro

My lungs are charred with the ashes of my faith. Broken promises, I swore to you, didn't I? Maybe four words don't mean so much, to you, maybe. ButIloveyou. I guess, it's selfish of me to want you, undiluted, to myself. I guess, it's selfish of me to love you.

Your sparkle doesn't just come from your eyes and your smile, it comes from the brightness of your soul the pure ecstasy of life radiates from your fingertips, your moonbeam skin lights everything you touch with the fire of living.

“There is an enemy,” she angrily said, “They are different and I want them dead.” So she built and army, with leather and lead, and painted their shields a deep blood red. Away they rode, with fire and pride, confident they were on the right side. They burned down the fields, and trampled the village, with good in their hearts they killed and they pillaged. They rallied themselves with a brave war song, assuring themselves, they could do no wrong. “We are the righteous, we are the best, we are a manhood above all the rest.”

Blood mixes with water in the sink, pink, like the pallet of your mouth, the tip of your tongue, the flesh of your lips when you spoke: "Alright." Tears mix with mascara, black, like the coffee spilt on the floor, the shadows under your eyes, the bruises on your knuckles when I said: "I'm done."

Cut me carefully, trace your words, thread your fingertips into my skin. It burns, the cold where you left me. Wanting, wondering, why I wasn't warm enough to keep you.

I love(d) you. I gave you the best of me, tore out my still breathing lungs just to tell you how I love(d) you.

My bare feet pressed into padded carpet as you swung, danced my dizzy heart in circles. If I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn't have thrown my head back and laughed, and buried my face in your chest. My fragile frame tucked beneath yours, I tasted your smile, kissed your fingertips, whispered things... If I knew then, what I know now, I wouldn't have fed those butterflies so much, and loved something like you. Your rough palms encompassed mine, I kissed the hollow where your collarbones meet, and never noticed your heart didn't beat for me. If I knew then, what I know now, I would have held back. My lips wou